The New Year 2010 Post
Again, sorry for the lame title.
I am still wheezing my lungs out as I write this, having traveled from a hot afternoon in the Philippines to a freezing evening in South Korea four hours after. See how suddenly contradicting a person’s life could turn just like that? Here I am now in front of my laptop, contacting my parents via Yahoo messager to tell them that I got back safely to my residence here in South Korea. It’s just weird to think that how I am quietly coiled back to my room in Seoul right now actually feels like I have been this way all my life, when just four hours ago and the two weeks before that, I was sanely back to how I have always REALLY been... un-claustrophobic and more able to gas out from my always-laughing mouth. Put simply, back to my old, distinguishable self. Hahaha.
I am actually half-relieved to have finally arrived. But it’s because getting back to Seoul is the only way I could feel more at ease and less worried, having lost my wallet that took my foreign ID back in the Philippines. I so much want to work on reporting about its loss, and rid myself of the frustration out of bagging such pre-occupation while I was on vacation. So much for losing it just a day after I got back. The other half is still trying to weigh between feeling overly-hyped upon seeing people and friends and family and the life that I temporarily left, and not getting the right senses to savor each encounter. Time seemed to just fell short with each meet-up, always thinking that each day spent with them means getting closer to the longer time that I have to be away from them again.
But there is no point of not realizing how I so much missed home. From my mom’s casual smile and smack on my cheek to welcome me in the dawn of December-19 to my dad’s hug to bid me goodbye on a January-2 afternoon… and the events in between… oh good Lord! Cameras are a heaven-sent after all, that it was invented so I can have pictures that I can perpetually look at to relive such joy of being my homey self again. No stifling, no repressed and depressive stances, no playing dead from far back here in Seoul.
I recall that I barely had enough sleep everyday in the two weeks that I stayed in the Philippines, and that my mind and body were just always up for something... for anything. It must be the spirit of the Christmas season. It must be the excitement of hearing and sharing stories with friends in regard to our own experiences. I also remember that I particularly longed for December to come, to re-check on my unfinished business over someone. The pressing need to see him surprisingly did not get into me, though I cannot fool God into saying that I never thought of the possibility of bumping into the small world that my going back home has created. I must’ve gotten tired and frustrated. I have done my part, and that’s it.
What is just so overwhelmingly redeeming is for me to learn how to value my family and friends more. They are definitely the people whom I can run back to anytime. That there really is no such thing as holding on too much to the old kin for fear of losing them as you gain their prototypes in your new, chosen world. After all, they are the original, stick-by-you types-- the ones who will always remind you of who you are before the probable havocs your endeavors might create. Of course, the changes are there. But they are changes that don't intend to wreck whatever it was that has been established. Sometimes, change can actually be healthy and so much holding on can possibly kill. Anyone can mistakenly hold on to someone he is willing to give up anyway in the end.
If there's one positive thing that my lost wallet has done to me, it has made me look forward to my first day of work for 2010. For upon getting to my desk this Monday morning, I would have to prep up for the long line that I need to endure at the Immigration office, so I can get a new foreign tag. Hahaha. My oh my. Am I getting too pre-occupied with things related solely to work? I must admit that the past year is a sure least favorite of mine. I am nevertheless banking on what the 2010 will bring. There seems to be a lot of things brewing up. Who knows... ^^p
I am still wheezing my lungs out as I write this, having traveled from a hot afternoon in the Philippines to a freezing evening in South Korea four hours after. See how suddenly contradicting a person’s life could turn just like that? Here I am now in front of my laptop, contacting my parents via Yahoo messager to tell them that I got back safely to my residence here in South Korea. It’s just weird to think that how I am quietly coiled back to my room in Seoul right now actually feels like I have been this way all my life, when just four hours ago and the two weeks before that, I was sanely back to how I have always REALLY been... un-claustrophobic and more able to gas out from my always-laughing mouth. Put simply, back to my old, distinguishable self. Hahaha.
I am actually half-relieved to have finally arrived. But it’s because getting back to Seoul is the only way I could feel more at ease and less worried, having lost my wallet that took my foreign ID back in the Philippines. I so much want to work on reporting about its loss, and rid myself of the frustration out of bagging such pre-occupation while I was on vacation. So much for losing it just a day after I got back. The other half is still trying to weigh between feeling overly-hyped upon seeing people and friends and family and the life that I temporarily left, and not getting the right senses to savor each encounter. Time seemed to just fell short with each meet-up, always thinking that each day spent with them means getting closer to the longer time that I have to be away from them again.
But there is no point of not realizing how I so much missed home. From my mom’s casual smile and smack on my cheek to welcome me in the dawn of December-19 to my dad’s hug to bid me goodbye on a January-2 afternoon… and the events in between… oh good Lord! Cameras are a heaven-sent after all, that it was invented so I can have pictures that I can perpetually look at to relive such joy of being my homey self again. No stifling, no repressed and depressive stances, no playing dead from far back here in Seoul.
I recall that I barely had enough sleep everyday in the two weeks that I stayed in the Philippines, and that my mind and body were just always up for something... for anything. It must be the spirit of the Christmas season. It must be the excitement of hearing and sharing stories with friends in regard to our own experiences. I also remember that I particularly longed for December to come, to re-check on my unfinished business over someone. The pressing need to see him surprisingly did not get into me, though I cannot fool God into saying that I never thought of the possibility of bumping into the small world that my going back home has created. I must’ve gotten tired and frustrated. I have done my part, and that’s it.
What is just so overwhelmingly redeeming is for me to learn how to value my family and friends more. They are definitely the people whom I can run back to anytime. That there really is no such thing as holding on too much to the old kin for fear of losing them as you gain their prototypes in your new, chosen world. After all, they are the original, stick-by-you types-- the ones who will always remind you of who you are before the probable havocs your endeavors might create. Of course, the changes are there. But they are changes that don't intend to wreck whatever it was that has been established. Sometimes, change can actually be healthy and so much holding on can possibly kill. Anyone can mistakenly hold on to someone he is willing to give up anyway in the end.
If there's one positive thing that my lost wallet has done to me, it has made me look forward to my first day of work for 2010. For upon getting to my desk this Monday morning, I would have to prep up for the long line that I need to endure at the Immigration office, so I can get a new foreign tag. Hahaha. My oh my. Am I getting too pre-occupied with things related solely to work? I must admit that the past year is a sure least favorite of mine. I am nevertheless banking on what the 2010 will bring. There seems to be a lot of things brewing up. Who knows... ^^p
0 comments:
Post a Comment